When I created my 30 Before 30 list on my 29th birthday, the world felt like a different place. It was a different place. The goal was to accomplish 30 things I have never done before my 30th birthday. It felt like a personal challenge that would push me and possibly teach me some new things about myself. I was off to a great start. Then 2020 hit.

We all know this year has been anything but normal. With each new week, we have to navigate an unprecedented moment in our lives. Our lives and our world is shifting. In our home, we’ve had many sleepless nights, moments of anxiety, and lots of tears. Right now, this list doesn’t make sense any more. Because there are SO many things I didn’t include on this list that we are going through right now. Things I couldn’t even imagine when the year began. Living through a pandemic, battling infertility, and joining the fight of social injustice. That all seems WAY more important right now then anything I put on this list when I began. But for those who have followed this journey, I did want to share an update with you all on what I have accomplished and a goal with my list going forward.

Here was my original list that I shared on my 29th birthday, I’ve crossed out what I’ve accomplished so far:
Do a cartwheel
Speak at a new conference or retreat
Month of gluten-free / vegetarian / vegan / Whole30 (choose one)
Read 52 books in the year (I’m at 32 books so far!)
Run a race
Meet an idol or mentor
Do a handstand or the splits
Start a retirement fund
Go camping
Visit a new city
Visit a new state
Weekend of social media detox
Go ice skating
Visit a new country
Work on learning a different language
Learn to cook a new dish
Pay off credit card debt (SO close to this one!)
Cancel unnecessary items
A week of self-love (no negative self talk)
Map out my family tree and Matt’s family tree
Create our own family crest
Volunteer at a new organization
Splurge on something unexpected
Finish a new DIY project
Consistent journaling for a month…and hopefully beyond
Plant a tree
Spend more intentional time in the Word 
Write a letter to my younger self and my older self
Face a fear
Start a family

I think I have made progress but now some of these items don’t seem possible any more, like traveling and events. Honestly though, this list just isn’t as important as I thought it was when I created it. Yes, I would love to finish it and have everything crossed out but at this halfway point, I’m just proud of what I’ve accomplished so far. We have big things coming this year and so much work to do, things that I cannot wait to share soon. I will keep this list in the background and if I get the chance to accomplish more things, you know I will go for it. But for now, here’s my only goals and action steps for the next six months:

Breathe
Find joy
Put in the work
Love on my family
Be grateful for the life I have
Enjoy time with my husband
Give thanks for my health
Learn new things
Celebrate where we are in life

My word for this year was “Becoming.” When I chose that word, I had no idea how much it would test me. I think this quote from Glennon Doyle’s “Untamed” describes exactly how I’m “becoming” this year and every year after that: “I am a human being, meant to be in perpetual becoming. If I am living bravely, my entire life will become a million deaths and rebirths. My goal is not to remain the same but to live in such a way that each day, year, moment, relationship, conversation, and crisis is the material I use to become a truer, more beautiful version of myself. The goal is to surrender, constantly, who I just was in order to become who this next moment calls me to be.”

Here’s my hope for all of us: wherever you are in your year, whatever goals still lay ahead of you – know that you were placed here, in this time, for a reason. Maybe your world has shifted too and you are just trying to survive. You will get through all of this! Even if you never accomplish your “goals,” know that you have purpose and it’s coming true with each day you live. It’s time to start embracing 2020, use it to make us better people and to help change the world.