September 13, 2022
It was such an honor to photograph Alisa and her son, Kaius. She is expecting baby number two any day now and I loved getting to chat with her more about going from having one child to two. She shares openly about going through her first pregnancy during the pandemic and how she will work on trying to balance life with two little ones.
Tell me about your motherhood journey
I spent my pregnancy during lockdowns after having moved to a new city just three days before the very first one. Motherhood can be isolating enough but becoming a mother in the middle of a pandemic across the country from friends and family was really hard. We made the most of it with many outdoor adventures, but the weight of everything took its toll and the isolation as we became parents and navigated restrictions of who could attend appointments, etc was really difficult.
It is something we are still having to navigate going through a second pregnancy while Covid restrictions are still not allowing children into our hospital, making planning around appointments and birth with no childcare for our 18 month old son extra challenging.
What is one thing you wish you would have known before becoming a mom?
I think I was unprepared for how I would feel about motherhood and my career and the decision I would make. I have always been very career motivated and yet I chose to stay home with my kids—- for now. I am so happy with that decision but it can be a mourning process and a major challenge to identity. I think it has been very healthy for me to reframe a little. I have learned so much about “work” and the major contributions women make behind the scenes. Motherhood work can mean so many things for different people and I wish I understood that better going into it and did not feel that bit of shame with my decision.
What is something you are hoping to learn in the next year?
I am going to have to learn how to balance a baby and toddler. I am so nervous yet excited for the close age gap. I hope to learn patience as my toddler adjusts to having to share me. I hope to learn how to have enough room in my arms, in my lap, in my day for two little ones who need everything from me. I hope to learn to manage my anxiety better and ask for help when I need it. I want to work on recognizing my limits before I exceed them.
Any advice to new moms?
Find people to do it along side you and know that that might take time. This was never meant to be done alone and if you are struggling know that it is not your fault. Set aside any notion of self blame. Build your community. You deserve support.