We’ve all had that perfect meeting with a potential bride and groom. You feel like you are all really connecting. They are laughing at your jokes, you can clearly see their vision for their big day, and they stay much longer than a normal meeting. After they leave, you feel great! You totally nailed that meeting and you cannot wait to get an email from them saying they chose you to photograph their wedding! You eagerly check your emails waiting for them to respond. But a week goes by. You check in with them. Nothing. Another week goes by. Nothing. Finally, weeks after your initial meeting, your inbox holds an email from them with a generic message reading something like this:

“We had a great time getting to you know. Thank you. Unfortunately, we have decided to move in another direction and are going with another photographer. Thanks for your time.”

You’re crushed. It feels like getting picked last in gym class. It feels like a rejection letter from your number one school. Your heart drops to the floor. But what’s wrong with me?, you start thinking to yourself. What did I do? Negativity creeps in and you start to doubt yourself. But not today! Today, it’s time to stop that negativity right in it’s tracks!

It’s totally okay and normal if you do not book every, single wedding. See these “no” responses as a blessing and use them as learning experience. Here’s what I have learned from the dreaded “we went with another photographer” response and how it will help you deal with it:

Do Not Take Their Decision Personally
You don’t always get a reason why they chose someone else. Maybe it’s their budget. Maybe they want their friend to shoot it. Maybe they liked a different style better. No matter the reason, do not take it personally! You are still an awesome person and photographer so do not let one “no” make you feel any less! You want clients that will want you and your business, for YOU! If for any reason, a potential client feels like something does not mesh well, than wish them luck and let them find that PERFECT match. They deserve a photographer they feel 100% amazing about and you deserve clients that feel 100% amazing about YOU! Neither party should have to settle. But that doesn’t take anything away from who you are as a person. No matter what the decision, you still rock in your own unique way!

It’s a Good Chance to Separate Business You from Personal You
No one likes to hear the word, “no.” It’s so easy to negatively take it to heart. But when running a business, we must separate our personal selves from our business selves. With our business self, use the “no” response to reevaluate your business and grow from it. You can make any response a learning opportunity. Either grow from it or let it go, but do not get down on yourself. Tap into that business side of you and RESPOND to that “no.” Congratulate the couple on finding the photographer of their dreams. Be happy for your fellow photographer who booked their wedding. Supporting another’s success won’t ever dampen yours! Here’s an example of an email you can send after you’ve received the “other direction” response:

“It was great sitting down and chatting with you. I’m so thrilled you found the photographer that will fit your style and your wedding. I hope your wedding is everything you’ve ever wished for and dreamed of. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world, for now and for years to come!”

The More You Develop Your Brand, the Less “No’s” You Will Receive
When you start honing in on your brand and exactly what you want to shoot, you’ll find more people that want to hire you for you. You’ll receive more qualified leads when you are clear and concise about your style of photography. You’ll find brides that seek you out for your unique style and brand and do not put you in a pile of other photographer options. Put your energy into developing and loving your brand instead of worrying about the no’s. Soon those “no’s” will fade and you’ll be flooded with “I couldn’t imagine anyone else I’d rather have photograph my day!”

Next week on the blog, I’m discussing how you can improve your initial meeting experience with potential clients to help those “No” Responses become “Yes” Responses!